If you only knew, sorry, not strong enough
by Amakatsu
Summary: These are my first song fics, they wouldn't leave my head, this is thoughts of Ty Lee with a dash of Azula. How they hurt, and miss each other.
1. Chapter 1 If you only knew

**My first songfics I was listening to these three er four songs while thinking about my story, and I was like this has Ty Lee's name written all over it!(for the first two) Then on the third song I was like...hmmm reminds me of Azula. But this is my first time, and I think its a disaster. So I urge those who would like to do this too! Please do!**

**Songs:**

**Shinedown: If you only knew**

**Shinedown: Call Me**

**Apocalyptica: Not Strong Enough**

**Buckcherry: Sorry**

**I hope you enjoy (cause I really need to get this out of my** **head)**

If you only knew Azula. If you only knew just _how much _I love you, just _how much _I need you.

_If you only knew_  
_I'm hanging by a thread, the web I spin for you_  
_If you only knew_  
_I'd sacrifice my beating heart before I lose you_

Please understand my princess, for I never wanted to hurt you. But I couldn't lose you to the darkness. I had to do it, so please don't leave me, I'd rather die then never see you again.

_I still hold onto the letters you returned_  
_I swear I've lived and learned_

Even in the cold cell, I hold on to it, those feelings, those days, every tiny smile you returned to me. Do you remember my princess? How you..how WE used to be?

_It's 4:03, and I can't sleep_

I'm living in the Earth Kingdom now. But it's never the same, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss you. Even now, knowing what I did, how I couldn't help you. I wish I could whisper loving words, I feel so cold, so alone, so empty. I _need _you. If I knew how to tell, If I only knew.

_Without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me back to life  
Breathe your breath in me_

I'm falling, I can no longer stand it. _I need you, I need you, I need you, Azula, please, please, come back to me._ I can't help but drown in my tears, the life I have will never amount to what you gave me. It feels so cold without you, without your fire to guide me, to warm me. Your golden eyes are dull now, losing the rich life. I can no longer look at you now. How could I? My dear Azula. If you only knew...

_The only thing that I still believe in is you  
If you only knew_

I realize I should have come sooner. Should have said this sooner, maybe if I had just...but now you will never know. I wish you did so much.

_If you only knew how many times I counted  
All the words that went wrong  
If you only knew how I refuse to let you go  
Even when you're gone_

_I don't regret any days I spent__  
_  
Nights we shared or letters that I sent 

Do you remember? I will never forget. Our secret time together, alone, just us. Exploring the palace, skipping your lessons. It was so perfect. I love you Azula. If I could do it all over again, I would, such a precious time. But it slipped through my fingers.

_It's 4:03, and I can't sleep  
Without you next to me, I toss and turn like the sea  
If I drown tonight, bring me back to life  
Breathe your breath in me _

Only you could save me, you noticed me in the faces of my sisters. You chose _me_ I can only wish you would come once more and heal my pain. No. I only wish I could heal your pain. You were my light, my hope, my everything. But...till this day you still are, Azula. And that's what I want you to know. That one moment in time still hangs over me. I miss you.

_The only thing that I still believe in is you  
Believe in is you, I still believe in you, oh  
If you only knew, __If you only knew, __I still believe in you_

I love you Azula, please never forget that.

* * *

**So that last part was altered, I don't know can I even do that? Gah, this is bad. Next one!**


	2. Chapter 2 Call me

**Here is the second one, this is for both Ty Lee and Azula, switching between the two. Okay I'm almost there, getting rid of this idea.**

**Shinedown: Call Me**

* * *

_Wrap me in a bolt of lightning  
Send me on my way still smiling  
Maybe that's the way I should go  
Straight into the mouth of the unknown_

I should follow you, where ever you are going. My smile is still not the same.

"Ty Lee are you ready?"

I swear I thought that was your voice. "Coming, give me a sec!" I keep holding on to the hope that you'll just burst through the door, calling me back on some adventure with you. I wish I could spiral down to where you are.

_Left the spare key on the table  
Never really thought I'd be able to say  
I merely visit on the weekend  
I lost my whole life and a dear friend_

I can no longer come and see you everyday with ease. I still can't believe I lost you, I have to make an _appointment _to see you. I would never have fathomed that this would happen. I want you back, I will have you.

_I've said it so many times  
I would change my ways  
No, never mind  
God knows I've tried_

"Hello Ty Lee."

"Azula."

I will never forget, I realize only slightly everything that's going on. But one thing won't leave my begotten mind. I told myself every time I hurt you I wouldn't be so cruel next time. I can't forgive you. I won't. But I want to.

_Call me a sinner, call me a saint_  
_Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same_

I don't care if you hate me, I will never leave. I won't leave you ever again. I will never change the way I feel about you.

"_Please" __  
_

No I won't go away. You can tell me over and over again. I refuse to make the same mistakes.

_Call me your favorite, call me the worst  
Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt  
It's all that I can say, so I'll be on my way_

I'm trying to save you can't you see? Look at what I have become, I hurt you why don't you hate me? I hate you, I keep telling you to go away, but you won't, can't you see? I just don't want you to suffer anymore, even with this last bit of my mind, that's what I can hope for. This is the only part of me I could salvage, enough to say this. Fine then, I guess I'll just leave you, I'll have to make you hate me.

_I finally put it all together_  
_But nothing really lasts forever_

I thought this was my world. Time seemed to stop spending it with you. But it one quick swoop it crumbled, everything was gone. I learned it the hard way I guess, right Azula?

_I had to make a choice that was not mine_  
_I had to say goodbye for the last time_

I fought so hard. I wanted you to come back to me. I never realized that I had to tell you goodbye. No matter what I did I couldn't prevent it, I know what I did hurt you but I HAD to. If only I could have helped you.

_I kept my whole life in suitcase_  
_Never really stayed in one place_  
_Maybe that's the way it should be_  
_You know I've led my life like a gypsy_

I guess I just never learned the meaning of comitment. You know me, I don't want anyone to clip my wings. But no matter how far I went you were close behind, I knew that you were there. But now you, my saftey net, you are gone, I can no longer feel you. It scares me, I can no longer dance with the wind. Maybe that's what started it all, leaving for the circus, leaving you behind. I guess I'll never know.

_I've said it so many times_  
_I would change my ways_  
_No, never mind_  
_God knows I've tried_

The voices that taunt me are so painful. I failed, I failed, I'm worthless now. I wanted to struggle through that, to grasp on to your words. But when I'm about to break through the surface, it all fades..I tried.

_Call me a sinner, call me a saint_  
_Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same_

_Call me your favorite, call me the worst_  
_Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt_  
_It's all that I can say, so I'll be on my way_

You really won't leave me alone. You can't let go and just let me rot, like I did to you. I just don't want you to hurt anymore but..maybe...just maybe..I can reach you.

_I'll always keep you inside_  
_You healed my heart and my life_  
_And you know I tried_

You healed me, you never gave up, you really didn't leave me alone...circus freak.

You are the one that healed me, Azula, I was alone and you came along.

_Call me a sinner, call me a saint_  
_Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same_  
_Call me your favorite, call me the worst_  
_Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt_  
_It's all that I can say, so I'll be on my way_  
_So I'll be on my way, so I'll be on my way_

Now I know I will see you soon.

I _will_ see you soon.

* * *

**This was sooo bad.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Last one...I think.**

* * *

_I'm not strong enough to stay away  
Can't run from you  
I'd just run back to you  
Like a moth I'm drawn into your flame  
You say my name but it's not the same  
You look in my eyes  
I'm stripped of my pride  
And my soul surrenders  
And you bring my heart to its knees_

I can still hear your cruel words ring in my ears. I can't take it away, I want to cry and shout, I want to hate you, but even as you lay there, eyes cold. I can't help it, I love yous so much, and I always will, no matter how hard I try.

_Oh I had a lot to say, was thinking on my time away  
I missed you and things weren't the same  
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die_

"Don't be stupid Ty Lee." _I actually..._

"I'm sorry.." _I can hear the tears in your voice. It hurts._

I was never kind. There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn't truly understand the words. With the time to think, I wonder why? Why are you still here with me?

_And it's killing me when you're away  
And I wanna leave  
And I wanna stay  
And I'm so confused  
So hard to choose between the pleasure and the pain  
And I know it's wrong  
And I know it's right  
And even if I tried to win the fight  
My heart would overrule my mind  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away_

I can't handle it, I always fly back to you. Even when I run out in tears, I promise I'll never do it again, never go back. But I'm so twisted inside, I don't understand these feelings, I don't think I even want to. I miss you so much, it hurts. I wish you could be back, even if all you say are insults, I want to hear your voice. I feel like I'll die, please Azula tell me what to do? Because all I can do is run back to you.

_I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue  
I'm sorry about all things I said to you  
And I know, I cant take it back._

I'm sorry I pushed you, pulled you, teared you down. There was something else in my chest but I didn't know how to say it. I'm sorry I'm this way, I'm sorry that I even have to be. But I can't change, please just give up, because you can't take the words back.

___There's nothing I can do  
My heart is chained to you  
And I can't get free  
Look what this love has done to_ _me _

I can't leave you, you are were my heart is. I know that I can never live without you, so please just forget. I am ruined in pieces. I fell apart once you vanished. Come back from that void, I know you can do it. You are unstoppable. I can never live without you.

_This time I think, I'm to blame  
It's harder to get through the days  
You get older and blame turns to shame  
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die_

I can no longer see, but I feel the tears go down your cheeks. I think all of this might just be because of me. I'm slipping, it feels cold. I think this is it. I think this is the last time I will make you cry, right Ty Lee?

_Sorry  
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue  
I'm sorry about all things I said to you  
And I know, I cant take it back_

_I love the way you make my world go round  
And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry_

This is good bye.

* * *

**See? What did I tell you I botched it up! Will anyone do this? **

**It was really fun though, I never thought writing songfics could be so enjoyable.**


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